Of Toxic Demons and Worried Loves
by redjuly
Summary: [formerly Demons Poison, Lovers Care] Humph, I decided to not take down the fic but rather put links to chapters where adult situations take place on mediaminer or my y!gallery account... Sorry I cannot make up my mind XD
1. Part I: Chapter 1

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ch 1

----

Red and brown muddled, the dirt and blood sticking his hair to his face and neck. He was on the ground and surrounded… '_Shit'_ that youkai had gotten in a good hit. In this battle he was alone, the others were fighting somewhere off in the distance but he could not sense them. The crisp night air rushed into his lungs as he regained his breath. Lean and experienced muscles reacted with speed as the redhead threw his body back onto its feet. "Come on you assholes!" The yell came from rough bloodied lips flecked with sweat and spit. Stumbling from fatigue, his eyes saw mostly haze. Chain and blade extended as the horde rushed him "Fuck You ALL!!"

Limbs, blood, bodies …all fell like a disturbing sinful snow onto the ground in an eerie silence. Ragged breathing came with the rise and fall of Gojyo's chest. He was badly wounded and more youkai were coming. The kappa turned to face the demons but found his legs had been immobilized. A youkai half alive on the ground was smiling up at him with menace and hatred. Gojyo thrust his weapon into the pitiful excuse for an existence and reached down to cup his leg where the creature had stuck him with a knife. Brow knit tightly the red head ripped the blade from his calf. Turning at the waist he made a stand from the only stance he could manage.

Again and again the youkai came at him and over and over he defeated the blood thirsty beings. Finally after seemingly hours of battle they stopped their onslaught, presumably due to utter and absolute defeat. Gojyo's whole body ached, especially his legs. He could feel every muscle straining but they just would not move. Crying out in frustration he used his arms to move his lower limbs one by one. The painstakingly slow process only ended when he fell to the ground in exhaustion and slept.

----

Gojyo's eyes flickered open; the sunlight hurt his vision so he closed them and inhaled deeply. '_Wow do I smell like shit…'_ body odor and dust spewed through his nasal passages. Groaning he tried to gain his bearings and stand, neither task was successful. His lower extremities were like a rag dolls, useless and limp. "Well my legs may not work but my arms still do…" grumbling Gojyo began to dragging himself along the ground, as his legs were no longer rigid enough to support him; he pulled his broken body down the path in front of him.

A few hours later the kappa was resting with his head against the ground, suddenly his eyes snapped open. He could hear a dull roar coming from the earth and whatever it was it was getting louder every second. Gojyo pulled himself into the brush alongside the road and hid watching the dirt where he had been laying… nothing. A few moments passed and Gojyo pushed his way back out onto the road and looked more closely at the ground.

"Oy!" shouting could be heard and the rumble was finally discerned as the hum of a hot engine.

"Gojyo!"

Looking up there was Sanzo, Hakkai, and Goku approaching at breakneck speed in Jeep. The monkey jumped from the vehicle as it screeched to a halt in front of the red head. "Where have you been?" he asked in a semi-concerned voice. This question earned Goku a swift fist to the skull courtesy of Sanzo.

Their bruised and bloodied comrade smiled up at his companions before collapsing back onto the ground and letting needed rest settle into his weary bones.


	2. Chapter 2

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ch 2

----

'…_cold…' _Gojyo felt the sensation through his hazy sleep as his consciousness faded in and out.

"…lost a lot of blood…"

"…never been down this long before…."

"…I don't know what is wrong… have to run some tests…"

Fragments of sentences and concerned voices reached his ears between the hum of incoherent speech. Then he was back once more in the depths of sleep, the blackness of his subconscious surrounding him.

Hours… days… time… all he knew was it had passed, and too much of it at that. Gojyo's eyes opened his vision cloudy and swimming. The palms of his hands rubbed the sleep from his face and he began to look around the room. Hakkai was there or rather his clothes were sitting ruffled and slung across a rickety wooden chair. Sight clearing he sat up which proved harder than he had expected. His legs had some movement back but they seemed extremely stiff and inflexible. Holding his head Gojyo looked around the room. It was not the hotel they had been in the night before the attack. No, it was somewhere completely different but oddly reminiscent of where he and Hakkai had lived before Sanzo had recruited them.

Reaching to his shoulder then moving in a meandering line across his chest and down his torso Gojyo searched for his injuries. He found only small raised stripes of skin where his wounds had previously been. _'…they must have gotten a good healer...'_ he thought as the fact that Hakkai was himself a healer escaped the redhead's brain momentarily.

"Hakkai?..." it came out choked and brittle. Coughing Gojyo tried to clear his throat, his next attempt at speech was utterly a failure. '_I need some water…'_ managing to get to his feet the red head made his way across the small room by leaning on the sparse furniture. Reaching the bathroom he pushed the door open, '_well I found Hakkai…'_ Gojyo mused as he saw the blurred outline of the brunette through the shower curtain. Finding the sink Gojyo turned on the cold water and cupped his hands. He took a few long drinks of chilled liquid then splashed some onto his face and torso causing goosebumps to appear over his skin.

Bending his head to the side he gave a sniff, _'well I don't smell anymore, guess the guys had enough sense to get me a bath... Hope the girl that did it was cute…'_ he mulled over the thought of a hot young woman cleaning every inch of his skin.

"Ow!" Hakkai stumbled inside the shower as something was knocked over; "hot!" tripping over the edge of the tub as he scrambled out the brunet had to do a bit of a dance number to keep from falling down.

Gojyo watched the amusing scene thoroughly before realizing that he had left the cold water on, "Sorry buddy," he smiled at Hakkai who was wrapping himself in a towel.

"Gojyo?!" Hakkai hadn't noticed the kappa until he had spoken consequently his voice sounded extremely surprised when he realized he was not alone in the room, "…when did you?..." the brunette was looking at him as though he were a relative from out of town who had showed up unexpectedly for dinner.

"Where're Sanzo and the monkey?" Gojyo asked as he pulled at his lips examining his teeth in the mirror.

Hakkai stumbled over his words as his mind raced around inside his head, "um… they… they left."

Gojyo turned around, "What?! Why the hell'd they go without us?!" the red head was annoyed at learning this new bit of information but even more irritated at his friends strange reaction to everything he was doing. He raised one irritated eyebrow as he watched the brunet start to look more uncomfortable and confused with each passing moment. "Hakkai… what's going on? Why are you looking at me so strangely and why are Sanzo and Goku not in that room bitching at one another like always!?" Gojyo's questioned seemed to hit a chord within Hakkai and the brunet sputtered a bit but nothing coherent came out. "Hakkai," Gojyo said in a low warning tone.

"Gojyo…" Hakkai breathed it unsteadily and in a flustered tone. "um… you… you were dead…more ...or less…apparently less…" he waved a shaking hand as he indicated the fact that Gojyo was indeed very much alive. "… we… um…even Yaone said you would never wake up." Hakkai regarded his friend with mixed emotion, water spiraling down his torso from soaked hair.

"What?" Gojyo's mind raced, he had no idea what was going on. Sure he had certainly been roughed up a bit by those youkai but it wasn't as though he had been on the verge of death. Then he remembered something… a nearly minute detail which seemed to have changed the course of his life. "Hakkai…how long has it been?"

"Five months…" Hakkai seemed to finally be getting a grip on the situation and the reality that his friend was indeed awake again. He took a few more steps towards Gojyo. "Yaone found trace amounts of a toxin in your blood, it… it was a paralyzing agent… we thought you had been permanently… um… disabled." Hakkai looked at Gojyo in slight disbelief.

The red head was leaning back onto the sink trying to take in all the information. His bare feet felt cold against the bathroom tiles. "Five months… huh… could be worse… fucking youkai bastard…" Gojyo remembered the look filled with gleeful hatred that the demon had given him just after stabbing him in the leg. Gojyo chuckled to himself then left Hakkai dripping in the bathroom.

Back in the bedroom, dinning room, kitchen area Gojyo sat on the edge of the bed. "Hakkai, where are my smokes?" Gojyo asked in a tone deprived of emotion. "You had better not have let Sanzo take them," Gojyo muttered to himself as he thought about the current situation.

Hakkai came out of the bathroom in his towel. He quietly considered his friend as he walked across the room. Delicate fingers wrapped around a pack on the table and the lighter next to it. Hakkai walked back over to Gojyo and deposited the addiction into the redhead's hands. "No I didn't let him take them." Hakkai pulled up a chair and sat across from his friend.

Gojyo regarded Hakkai's different behavior but passed over it as soon as the cigarettes were in his palm. Lighting up he felt a bit of relief flow into him. Calmness settled as the nicotine did and life didn't seem quite as bad as it had a few moments ago. Letting the smoke linger in his lungs Gojyo closed his eyes and held his breath. "So, can we catch up to them?" he asked as he let out the smoke filled air.

Hakkai looked at Gojyo with concern but at the same time a hopeful and thankful expression was in his eyes. The redheads question reached his ears and he considered the thought. "Well, it would be rather difficult… I let them take Hakuryu… since I decided to stay behind." Hakkai fingered his monocle which he had retrieved from the table moments ago.

"Fuck…" Gojyo continued to puff on his cigarette.

Hakkai got up from the chair he was in and turned away from Gojyo. He picked up his clothes and shed his towel as he got dressed.

"Hey Hakkai, where are **my** clothes?" Gojyo asked, as he absentmindedly stared at his naked friend. Gojyo had been wearing only a pair of shorts and as Hakkai moved to dress himself the kappa had been reminded of the properly dressed state he himself was not in. The redhead idly tapped his ash into the nearest cup, his eyes sagging shut. His head felt heavy and his eye lids closed as slumber crept its way into his brain once more.

"Gojyo?" … … … "Gojyo?!" Hakkai's yells seemed distant and white as Gojyo's senses drifted away again.


	3. Chapter 3

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ch 3

----

Red eyes blinked awake to find moonlight drifting through the open window over his bed. He was lying down again. _'shit… how long was I out for this time…'_ Gojyo looked around he could not see Hakkai anywhere. He saw his cigarette and the cup he had put the ash in lying broken on the floor. '_must not have been that long… where's Hakkai?…'_ Gojyo tried to sit up but was unable to. _'what the?!'_ it took a moment before Gojyo realized he was being restrained by two arms wrapped tightly around him.

"…Can't get up…" Hakkai murmured from a half sleep. He tightened his grip on Gojyo, "if you get up now the poison will start to circulate again…" Hakkai breathed a sigh that was filled with relief. "We can look for a way to fix tomorrow..." He breathed again and loosened his hold on Gojyo but did not take his arms away.

Gojyo relaxed in Hakkai's arms mostly because the thought of not waking up again scared him stiff, but also there was something new and reassuring in Hakkai that he did not remember having ever been there before. Then again Hakkai had never held him like this before either. Gojyo turned a bit in his friends grasp so that he was lying flat on his back. One of the brunette's arms now cradled the kappa's head while the other rested on his bare chest.

The brunette gently set his head on Gojyo's shoulder, his cheeks felt warm and sticky against Gojyo's skin, then wet…_'? huh?'_ Gojyo turned his head; a small line of water trickled down Hakkai's face and caught the moonlight as it rolled. _'…why?...'_ Gojyo reached over and wiped away the tear without touching Hakkai, his friend was sleeping soundly and did not seem to notice. Felling the cool night air fall from the window and drift over them Gojyo relaxed and even though he felt he had slept enough for a lifetime he let his eyes close and his mind shut down.

----

Morning fluttered into the sky and inevitably through the window. Hakkai tried to get up without stirring Gojyo but he was very unsuccessful. "After all the sleep I've gotten no one's going to be able to get a thing past me for the next thirty years." Gojyo was barely even bleary eyed but had enough sense to lie still.

Hakkai gently moved his friend and got off the bed. He shook himself out and stood up fully. "Well what would you like for breakfast?"

Gojyo's eyes beamed, food! He hadn't had food in… "Hey Hakkai, how am I still alive if I haven't eaten for five months?" Gojyo's brow furrowed in confusion, he moved his hands to his stomach, _'I don't feel any thinner…' _

Hakkai had gone to the stove and put on the tea water. He proceeded to pull out a pan and went to the fridge for something to cook. "Yaone taught me how to make a very potent liquid diet and I have been feeding it to you daily." Hakkai answered the question with a strong scholastic tone.

"Oh,…" Gojyo stopped running his fingers over his stomach and starred at the ceiling.

Hakkai's cooking resulted in some clanging and sizzling noises reminding Gojyo of how it had been before Sanzo had called upon them for their help.

A delicious smell drifted to Gojyo, "so what are you making?" He rolled over so that he could see the brunette more easily.

"eggs," Hakkai said in a cheerful tone.

'_wow, those smell better than I remember…'_ Gojyo watched Hakkai as his friend made breakfast in rumpled clothes and tousled hair.

With experienced hands the brunette took only a few minutes to prepare the simple breakfast of not quite chicken spawn and wheat product. Eggs and toast was not so common to their region but it was food and good food at that. Besides Gojyo enjoyed anything set before him, especially if he had to fight for it against the monkey, not that that was the current case. Nor would Hakkai have let him fight had Goku been there.

Hakkai placed the sustenance onto a plate and walked to the now chimney version of Gojyo who sat puffing away. Hakkai smiled as he put the plate on the small nightstand next to the bed. The red eyed man moved to sit up but Hakkai stopped him. "No," placing a hand behind Gojyo's head he supported the redheads weight, "Here," carefully Hakkai climbed back onto the mattress and propped Gojyo up against him.

"This… is the life," Gojyo smiled sarcastically.

"Well don't get to used to it as soon as you can safely move again you'll be doing this for yourself," green eyes flashed with laughter as the dark haired man reached for the food.

It was an odd process for both as they shared a meal where one hand had to do all the plate to mouth work. Hakkai had only been used to getting a sleep heavy Gojyo to drink liquid, not chew firm substance off a fork.

"By the way Hakkai when **will **I be getting back on my feet?" Gojyo said licking a bit egg off his lip.

"Well… I don't know yet, I'll be going into town today and visiting an old woman there… she's a witch doctor of sorts…" Hakkai set Gojyo's head delicately back onto the pillow and walked to the sink to deposit the dishes. "I have talked to her several times about the poison and she has been making for me these oils to rub into your skin and showing me which herbs to mix with your 'food'." Hakkai held up one of a dozen small vials from the cupboard. "I didn't think they would actually help, but any chance is better than none." He looked back at the vial before carefully returning it to its rightful place. "And now it seems the old woman actually knew what she was talking about. So I will greatly need any knowledge she can provide on the next steps to take to get you free of this toxin." Hakkai walked back over to Gojyo a deck of cards in one hand. "I'm afraid this is all I can offer in the way of amusement while I am gone." The brunette set the cards on the nightstand. "Please remain as still as possible," from the other hand he set down a flask, "here is some water if you get thirsty." Shuffling his feet Hakkai went into the bathroom and took care of morning business.

A few minutes later he came out looking less tousled and refreshed, "I should be back by evening the town is a rather far walk but I will return as quickly as I can, I am sorry to leave you like this."

All the while Hakkai had been delivering instructions and notes Gojyo had been watching him, even when he had gone into the bathroom Gojyo had starred at the wooden door until Hakkai had returned. The same thought repeating it self _'…what the fuck am I going to do all day?…'_


	4. Chapter 4

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ch 4

----

Hakkai finally left, soundlessly closing the door, after asking Gojyo twice if there was anything else that the redhead needed before he departed for the day. Gojyo had simply waved his hand and told Hakkai to bring him back booze, women and more smokes.

Hours passed in the most sluggish of ways and minutes seemed as eternity. Perhaps if he could actually do something it would not have been so bad; but the fact of it was he had already discerned twenty seven different sexual positions from the cracks in the ceiling and three dozen out of the wood lines on the table. Half the pack of cigarettes were gone along with all the water and he had played solitaire thirty four times; then on top of it all he needed to pee.

'_fucking hell, if Hakkai doesn't get back soon I might have to go run around just so that I can sleep through this god awful day…' _Gojyo mulled over just how much activity he would have to do so that he could awaken around the time Hakkai got back. He figured if a walk to and from the bathroom did it last night it might do it just about right this time too… besides, like I mentioned earlier… he had to use the bathroom.

Carefully removing himself from the bed he walked as least strenuously as he could manage to the toilet. _'…oh yeah…'_ Gojyo sighed with contented liberation as he relieved himself. Letting his head lull back onto his shoulders Gojyo started at the ceiling… suddenly a familiar feeling came into his legs… or rather lack there of…'_FUCK!'_ …they went to threads and the redhead fell to the floor managing to barely avoid cracking his head on the porcelain. "Oh great! Just fucking great!" Gojyo felt miserable at being as helpless as he was. "This settles it! I am never getting old! As soon as I turn fifty I'm committing suicide!" Plunging his hands into his hair and tearing at it, his only comforting thought was _'at least I was finished peeing.'_

----

Hakkai came home just after the sun had set to find Gojyo was not where he had left him. Panic filled his chest and a rigid feeling clutched at his heart. "Gojyo?!" Hakkai nearly dropped the bags he was carrying, but managed to set them down, as he rushed to the bed to dig through the blankets as though Gojyo might have been swallowed by them.

A grumble came from the bathroom; "in here…" the grouchy voice was deep and sounded extremely irate.

As Hakkai swung the door on its hinges it revealed Gojyo, one arm draped over the side of the tub the other lying floppily next to him.

"Dude you would not believe the day I had." He looked up at Hakkai through messy hair and gave a half attempt at a smirk.

Hakkai moved quickly to collect Gojyo into his arms. The smaller man looked a bit awkward picking up the redhead but though his load seemed cumbersome he lifted him with ease.

"Man, I'm sorry you're having to pull me out of all these messes… I would have dragged myself back to the bed but the paralysis seems to have gone to my arms… I think if it had been much longer I would have let go and smacked my head on those cold tiles …" Gojyo starred at the bathroom floor from over the brunettes shoulder and felt at ease for the first time since his friend had left that morning.

Hakkai did not take Gojyo out of the bathroom instead he set him in the empty tub. "You stink," he said with humor in his voice.

"Yeah well you don't smell like posies either." sarcasm was a constant with Gojyo and Hakkai wondered if the redhead was capable of speaking without a tinge of it on his tongue.

"The road will do wonders for ones 'aroma'," Hakkai said jokingly pulling his own shirt off. The brunette left the bathroom for a moment turning on the light as he exited through the doorway.

Gojyo could hear rummaging and tried to crane his neck and see what Hakkai was up too, this resulted in his slipping further down into the tub. Without muscle control he slithered unintentionally to the bottom of the bath where he grumbled angrily until Hakkai heard him and returned to pull the kappa into his former position. The green eyed man exited once more and returned with six or seven bottles and two brown paper packages in hand.

"Are those what you brought back?" Gojyo questioned through a gurgle in his throat.

"Yes, some of it, and it sounds as though I indeed returned at the right time. You seem to be going into a state of total paralysis instead of sleep." Hakkai got to his knees by the tub and reached down to place hold on Gojyo's boxers.

"Wmath zee heeal manh?!" _'…what the hell man!...'_ Gojyo tried to yell at Hakkai but inevitably the poisons work had reached his mouth.

Laughing the brunette removed the clothing through the persistent spasms which were all Gojyo could manage in his current state. "I think I might just like you better this way," Hakkai beamed at Gojyo.

'_DEATH!!!' _Gojyo thought it as hard as he could while staring at Hakkai with threatening poppy colored eyes.

Hakkai leaned over towards Gojyo's ear, "I have to tell you Gojyo…" his breath was warm "…I am very tempted…" the brunette cut off his sentence and moved even closer to Gojyo's face. "To… leave… you …exactly… like …this." Each word dropped with intention. Hakkai smiled as Gojyo's anger visibly multiplied and came like daggers from the kappa's eyes. "Well now, if we're to get any feeling back into your bones by morning we had better get started."

Hakkai removed his own clothing and climbed in behind Gojyo. He reached over Gojyo's shoulder and turned on the tap, checking the water with his wrist he got it just right before placing the stop in the bottom. Then tilting over he picked up one of the bottles from next to the bath. Read its label. Replaced it for another, seemed to decide upon it and opened this one. He poured the contents into the bath the blue liquid turned the water purple the smell of mint and butterscotch wafting up from it.

Immediately Gojyo could feel himself relaxing and the muscles melting back into their usual place. _'…I can feel everything but can't do a damned thing with my body… this blows…'_

Hakkai waited while the tub filled, gently untangling Gojyo's hair with his fingers. "You know, I rather enjoy this whole taking care of you business, especially now that you're awake."

Gojyo felt a small pounding in has chest.

"…I do so love children you know." If Gojyo could have looked at Hakkai he would have stabbed him with steely blades of vision once more. Even if the brunette's voice was soft and callus free with no trace of the palpable sarcasm as when Gojyo spoke, the kappa still seemed offended.

Hakkai finished his work with Gojyo's hair and turned off the water. The tub was full enough to bathe in but not so full that water could slosh out if one of them moved. Hakkai took a wash cloth from its proper drying ring on the wall, wet it, and began working his way across Gojyo's un-submerged skin.

Gojyo stopped being as angry at Hakkai and let his friend work his skin with the warm water. _'… nnn… feels nice…'_ Gojyo thought as the brunette moved the cloth across his chest and down to his navel where the water line was.

When Hakkai had finished that task he retrieved the smaller of the two brown packages. Delicately he peeled the paper revealing a bar of gritty green soap. Hakkai dipped the cleansing tablet into the water and started a lather. Using a combination of the cloth and the soap bar, Hakkai rubbed in a circular pattern cleaning Gojyo's skin. Beginning with the redhead's neck the green eyed man gently caressed the white flesh.

The sand in the soap left small red striations over Gojyo's skin but felt rather good as it scraped across his collar and back then was followed up with the soft touch of the cloth in its wake. "What's that supposed to do?" asked Gojyo as he found the paralysis to be receding slowly.

"It's supposed to get you clean," Hakkai smiled noticing the control his friend now was regaining in his lips and jaw. "The blue liquid is what's working against the effects of the poison."

Hakkai worked slowly cleaning every inch of Gojyo above the water. Gradually working his way down, shoulders to hips, Hakkai finished his friends back. "Here lean on me more," said Hakkai as he pulled Gojyo closer to him. Tilting his friend against his chest the brunette started washing red eyed mans front. It wasn't as if the kappa had much of a choice in the matter, had Hakkai not been supporting him in the first place Gojyo doubted that bathing would have been possible at all.

Gojyo could sense the control coming back into his arms, it was down to his elbows now and he could have made primitive movements. That is if he not been far to entranced in the wonderful caresses of Hakkai's diligent fingers. Content eyes closed as he felt the swirling motion reach his belly.

Hakkai was forced to bend around Gojyo, pushing his mouth into the redheads shoulder as he stretched to wash the lower half of his friend's torso.

A primitive half moan unwillingly escaped Gojyo's lips.

"What was that about?" Hakkai's words were nearly muffled in Gojyo's muscled shoulder as the brunette slowly finished his work.

Hakkai did not know that Gojyo could feel the heat coming from his friends reddening face; the knowledge of which made Gojyo smirk inwardly and out.

Any other would have been embarrassed but with Gojyo's history he had been in like situations before. "Keep in mind that along with food, booze and smokes, I haven't had any women in the last five months either baka." Gojyo's control reached his fingers and he clenched and released them in the water repeatedly, glad he could move at least a part of himself again.

Hakkai's teeth dug into Gojyo's shoulder a little more as the brunette smiled, "to bad for you the opportunity for having a woman won't arise for a while yet, what with the poison and all."

Gojyo made a grunting noise; he knew that sex was far too much of an active sport for his current condition.

Finishing Hakkai hung the wash cloth over the side of the bath and moved out from behind Gojyo. He did not bother to cover up as he pulled the redhead into a sitting position before dislodging the tub stop and letting the used water drain away. Pulling the curtain closed half way Hakkai turned the water on once more and pulled up on the handle to start the shower.

Wincing at the minimal shock the heavy driven water caused, Gojyo relaxed beneath the heat. Then unexpectedly the redhead felt his body being picked up. Hakkai was behind him, supporting the weight of his friend's body against his own. Standing, with help, Gojyo savored the feeling of the warm water pounding down onto his freshly exfoliated skin. The kappa happily closed his eyes for a moment while Hakkai rubbed here and there to get the soap to leave.

Being in front of the shower head had been nice but the kappa did not object when, with a tad bit of difficulty, Hakkai turned him so that they were facing one another. With the paralysis leaving his waist Gojyo was reminded that he was not completely helpless and he wrapped his arms around the brunette's neck to help support himself.

Hakkai sighed, if only a little, as Gojyo settled his head into the small nook in the green eyed mans collar. They stood like that; Hakkai gently stroking his friends back as the water washed away green sandy soap. Time stilled a bit as steam floated through the air and the friends shared a moment of synonymous feeling.

Gojyo woke from the comfort as his knees seized a bit and he wobbled around trying to help keep himself standing. Hakkai seemed to come out of a sort of dream and laughed softly at Gojyo's shaky movements.

"Quit laughing monocle man," Gojyo said gruffly, not amused at his inability to support himself.

Hakkai did not stop laughing but he didn't laugh louder either. He lifted Gojyo at the small of his friends back, causing their hips to press together but it enabling the brunette to bend and turn off the water.

This time Gojyo felt his face bring up color, a thing that had not happened in a very long time. _'…I'm glad Hakkai can't see me…'_ the consideration ran through his brain before he had even realized he had thought it.


	5. Chapter 5

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ch 5

----

It took about ten minutes for Hakkai to get the both of them out, dry and into the other room. He dressed Gojyo, with a bit of protest and the words "I can do it myself", in a fresh pair of boxers and clean white t shirt before putting on a nearly matching set himself.

Night was settling and a warm breeze wavered though the window. Gojyo was propped up on pillows and a comforter looking at Hakkai who was thumbing trough the pages of notes he had brought back from a previous excursion to the town. Green eyes read steadily and occasionally could be seen rereading certain lines memorizing their content. Finally frustrated with the silence and out of cigarettes Gojyo began to shuffle the deck of cards nosily.

Hakkai looked up and smiled; he moved and pulled out the table drawer next to the bed. Setting the papers inside he looked at Gojyo who was trying his very best to get attention with his fervent gaze. Hakkai chuckled as he had many times that evening. But instead of amusing his roommate with a game of poker he began to tidy, collecting the dirty clothes, putting away the bottles in the bathroom, sorting the ones still in the bags, and finally doing a quick sweep with a broom before dumping the dust out the door.

After all the little things had been taken care of the healer moved to focus on his friend. Together they spent most of the remaining hours before sleep playing card games and harassing each other with various forms of verbal abuse.

-----

Hakkai had gone to sleep late the night before and awoke to find the mid-morning sun drifting through the window panes. Yellow beams revealed the tiny dust particles in the air and softly lit up Gojyo's rigid features. The brunette was still bleary with sleep and it only dawned on him that his friend really should not be should not be up when he noticed the task being performed.

Sitting at the table the redhead was scrupulously rubbing oil from one of the vials into his claves. He stretched out a leg and flexed, each toned and trained muscle skirting under the white skin like fluid rock. He was rather pleased that not to much of his muscle mass and fitness had been lost in the five months of inactivity.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai nearly vaulted from their bed; unfortunately he bumped out of the sheets a little to fast and had to catch himself before he ended up on the floor. "Gojyo," he said as he regained his balance, "you're not supposed to be up!"

"Calm down, I'm fine and I've only moved to the cupboard and back. See?" he stated matter-of-factly while he held up the vial and tilted it back and forth as if to set in stone the verity that he was alright. "No harm done, eh?" Gojyo went back to rubbing in the oils as Hakkai watched with lips pressed tight together and a concerned expression simmering in his emerald eyes.

----

The days passed quickly with one another's company and soon a month had gone by. Gojyo was nearly back to normal and could do most everything he wanted without objection from his brunette caretaker. He could even bring women home if he wanted to, but in an odd change of heart sex hadn't crossed his mind lately. At least not with any of the flirty, flighty, busty nitwits he was used to taking to bed. They had, in his mind, taken on a rather repulsive persona.

Gojyo sat on the roof staring up at the sky, it was early evening and he was waiting for Hakkai to return from town. His friend still refused to allow him to walk that far but at least now he could wander around and do some work inside or outside if he liked. Looking over the yard from his lofty view point Gojyo saw Hakkai coming up the small dirt path that wound its way to their home. He was carrying the usual two brown bags and, despite the quickness with which his feet were carrying him, looked extremely thoughtful.

The kappa watched him as he moved and even though he was a good three hundred feet away when the sun caught in his hair it made the tiniest lump form in Gojyo's throat. He clutched absentmindedly at his chest before springing lightly off the house to join Hakkai.

Walking towards him Gojyo held up one hand in greeting while the other dug into his pocket. "Hey! You're back." Gojyo beamed like a child would when greeting his very best friend.

Hakkai smiled in return, "How was your day?" He said relinquishing a bag to Gojyo's prying arms.

"Better now…" he mumbled looking towards the house. Hakkai's face hinted at a blush and he walked a bit closer by Gojyo.

"I spoke with the old witch doctor today," Hakkai said as he pushed the front door open. "She said you should be fine in another week, fully healed… so… I was thinking… we should catch up to Sanzo if we can…" there was a hint of regret tagged onto his words but Gojyo did not seem to notice.

In fact the redhead was exuberant at the thought of adventure, "All right! Yeah!" Gojyo sprung around the room and, for once, was happy to put away all that Hakkai handed him. It even surprised the kappa when he realized just how much he missed the priest and monkey… or maybe it was the battles… Strangely enough he could not put his thumb on exactly what it was that he missed about traveling with Sanzo party.

Other than his green eyes Hakkai's body and voice successfully fooled all the senses. _'…I wish we could stay here a bit longer…'_ He paused as he put away one of the last vials of oil they would ever need and it hurt a bit inside to know they would no longer be spending their days alone together without the ever-present onslaught of evil. _'but I have a debt to pay and they may need help…'_

Gojyo came up behind Hakkai and hugged him tight, "thanks, Hakkai…for taking care of me." It was not like Gojyo but it made the green eyed mans heart feel a little lighter.

----

Their last week in the house passed far to quickly for Hakkai and far to slowly for Gojyo who spent his hours practicing outside for the coming battles that would inevitably arise as soon as they rejoined Sanzo.

They had two more nights and one more day before they were to head out. It was late and the sun had settled into its cradle on the western horizon reminding both men of the travels to come. Gojyo walked into the house sweating and smiling, "woo, Hakkai I am so ready to take out some demons!" The redhead sauntered over to the brunette and took his flask from him. Tipping back the metal container he emptied it into his throat thinking it was the usual cool water. Instead it burned his esophagus and he coughed as he brought it back down onto the table and heaved a bit more when it reached his stomach. Gojyo looked inquiringly at Hakkai, "Geeze, I didn't even know you had any of that," he smiled and coughed again.

Hakkai mused at his empty container. "Gojyo?..." he did not finish his sentence.

Gojyo raised an eyebrow, "yeah?" he looked at his friend who sat gazing at his flask

"hmmm… nothing." Hakkai pushed out his chair and plastered on a grin which, had Gojyo not been looking for anything strange he would not have wondered at. "Shower up? Dinner in fifteen." Gojyo knit his brow but complied.

----

Hot water snaked down his body and he leaned against the tiled wall. _'…what's up with Hakkai, he looks miserable… maybe it's thoughts of Kanan again…'_ The redhead felt a twinge in his heart but disregarded it. The pain of jealousy had never before invaded as far as it did at that minute. Finishing he left the comfort and solitude of the shower and pulled a towel around his waist. He walked lazily to the sink and began to brush out his long red hair. As he combed through the soaked tresses he stared at the figure in the mirror wondering at all that had happened in the past month. _'…'_ mostly his mind was a blur, a mixed pool of emotion and candid images of his friend… Gojyo sighed heavily before putting the brush down and exiting into the other room.

----

Hakkai was serving rice onto plates and tears were rolling down his cheeks, he did not think he was really upset but every time he wiped one away another took its place. _'….why am I crying?…' _He wiped another tear away with his sleeve and set his monocle on the table due to its interference. "ugh," his chest heaved a bit as the once small feeling of loss grew. He placed the earthen wear on the table and looked up to find concerned crimson eyes looking at him in wondering worry. Hakkai smiled and almost lost his composure as a spasm of pain and guilt ripped through his heart. He realized just how strong his repressed emotions had become in his half year of taking care of Gojyo. It hurt to look at the man he had come to love, and it hurt more to think of the obvious, that that love would never be returned. _'… I certainly have a way of choosing lovers who were never meant to be…' _the thought might have been a little funny had it not made everything hurt more.

Two arms wrapped tightly around him and pushed the brunette head against a warm damp chest. Hakkai could hear Gojyo's heart thump against his ears as his friend threaded his fingers through the fabric at the back of his shirt.

Gojyo smiled softly and closed his eyes, "I don't…" he breathed heavily "…I don't think…"

Hakkai tried to pull away but the muscular kappa held him tighter and drew the full body length of the brunette against his own.

"I don't think," he said again, "that I could leave if I didn't know that when it was all over we would be coming back here… together…" Gojyo breathed and choked on his words a bit, "… if it's okay with you…" he had never cared what anyone had thought before but suddenly his whole life hung in the air as he waited for Hakkai to say something… anything…


	6. Chapter 6

So yeah, the actual chapters were up for a few days but… no… I couldn't leave them here unfortunately. So if you are reading this and want to view these chapters (known as PartI ch6 and PartI ch7 on y!gallery) then just go to my profile and the link near the bottom will take you to my fanfiction.

I couldn't just put the links here b/c FF. net is weird about those things and wouldn't let me… TT so sorry about that… and enjoy if you decide to read the chapters on y!gallery.

Oh, and P.s. if you choose to review I would love it if you would do so on FF. net, that is if it's not too much trouble to scoot all the way back here when you're done. Thank you and sorry again for the inconvenience.


	7. Part II: Chapter 7

---- ---- ---- ---- place change

---- time change

---- p---- t---- time and place change

So I decided on doing Hakkai and Gojyo's return to Sanzo and Goku but I will be writing about the monk and his boy as well so… yes… I think this shall work since it's kind of both… but! If you think I should write more about one pair tell me (ie: if someone would like more focus on a certain pair I will add more/longer scenes with that coupling).

Also any suggestions are very much so appreciated.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ch 7:

----

"Ugh!" splergsh… mud splattered up the side of Goku's face as he landed on the soaked dirt road. He was sopping wet and dirtier than ever his clothes and hair sticking to him with a vengeance.

After leaving Hakkai with Gojyo, both of whom they assumed they would never see again, Sanzo and Goku had set out towards the west with a reluctant little white dragon in tow.

At first the journey had gone smoothly but lately it had been one mishap after another. Two weeks ago Goku was nearly sold twice after being drugged and taken away. Since then the ever present happiness faded somewhat from the little brunettes eyes which put Sanzo in an awful mood though his treatment of Goku improved greatly. A week and a half ago the monk found himself in a town that had outlawed the sale of tobacco and alcohol. Four days ago Hakuryu had left, presumably to find his way back to his master, and three days ago it had started raining. All things considered they were having a rough time of an already difficult expedition and at present neither man was particularly keen on the idea of continuing.

Slerghersh… Sanzo sat down next to Goku, already as dirty as he thought possible it didn't matter when mud found its way even further into every fiber of his robe.

No one else was about these days; what with all the demons and the current weather travel was not an option for the ordinary.

Not a word was spoken as the two adventurers listened to the rain that splashed onto the foliage and into the mud. The next village was only a few hours away and yet the thought of traveling even one inch further made their bodies ache twice as much as they already did.

Goku ran a muddy hand through his hair and wasn't surprised when it came out dirtier than it had gone in, though he still gave his fingers a slight look of disgust. Flopping down the brunette's head landed on Sanzo's lap and golden eyes lulled halfway closed as water ran down his face.

---- ---- ---- ----

The small amounts of provisions they required were packed and the house was boarded up as best it needed to survive the winter.

Hakkai stood facing the very beginnings of sunrise from atop a hill as he gazed down at their small home, remembering the past few days vividly.

A hand rested on his shoulder and Gojyo prompted the brunette forward away from the memories of sweet bliss. They had a lot of walking to do and they had to get going soon if they were to reach the next town by evening.

----

"Hnn…" Hakkai sighed relaxing as the mid-morning sun began to warm his back. Red hair fluttered around in a pony-tail about twenty feet in front of him.

"How long until we catch up to Sanzo and Goku do you think?" Gojyo turned and slowed his pace a bit.

Hakkai made a face, "we might not since they have Hakuryu, but perhaps fortune will find us, no?"

It was Gojyo's turn to make a face, "your plan sounds shitty think of something better." He was as sarcastic as ever and Hakkai laughed a little thinking about the Gojyo beside him now being the same one that he had been with the night before. Remembering more specific events from the previous evening a rosy blush colored the green-eyed man's cheeks.

Gojyo peered at him a clueless look to his features, "nani?"

The day was perfect with the suns warmth and a cool breeze. Not a cloud in the sky to mar the flawless sapphire color of the atmosphere. The walking was enjoyable and the time spent alone in one another's company was the nicest part.

Hakkai and Gojyo were really no different as lovers than they had been as friends. Except that when they spoke they stood a little closer and when they slept they were no longer holding just the blankets. It was… comforting.

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

"Nugh!" He was slipping again this time though he managed to stay on his feet. The day was going horridly and the village seemed no closer than it had an hour ago. Sanzo was walking a ways in front of him; he could see the monks sand colored hair even through the grime and it gave him something to focus on while he mustered the strength to continue.

As Goku stared and his body finally began to move again he remembered back to when he had been taken.

/That night they had been in a particularly shady part of town getting food when Sanzo had gotten annoyed with the monkey and gone to bed. The night was cold but the evening yet early so Goku had stayed down below in the tavern eating to his hearts content and enjoying the music. A few hours passed and he was nearly ready to return to Sanzo's side when from across the room a mystically alluring sound floated to meet his ears. A young boy with silver hair was in the corner playing a flute and it was like nothing Goku had ever heard before.

With interest he had approached the youth and soon the brunette was sitting in front of the musician listening intently. _'…wow… he's so…'_ Goku's mind had not before found itself where it went to when he was watching the silver hair and thin lips. Sanzo was the only one on earth Goku had ever wanted to be close to but this boy… he was somehow different. Like Sanzo the silver haired teen was in a class all his own.

The song ended and blue eyes stared back at Goku. The thin lips did not part for speech he simply extended a long fingered hand and brushed the hair out of Goku's vision. The monkey blushed furiously and tried to speak but only stuttered out incoherent sounds. Taking Goku's hand the musician led him to the bar where with only a simple wave he ordered a steaming mug of bluish liquid which he passed to the brunette when it arrived. Smiling stupidly Goku had drunk the fluid and remembered no more of the evening…/

The monkey's face turned red as he made himself stop remembering that night. He had caught up to Sanzo but now wished he was anywhere but by the monk's side. The thoughts of his stupidity made him want to hide, it didn't make much sense since everything was over and done with but Goku still wished that Sanzo had never had to… A small drop of liquid cleared a path through the mud on his cheek and he shook himself as though trying to throw the thoughts from his head.

"Only a bit more," the monk's voice was soft, just as it had been ever since that incident. He supported Goku's elbow with his hand and pulled the youth closer.

The brunettes head fell… _'… why am I so useless?...' _

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

"Woah!" Gojyo clung to a branch as he tipped backwards on the steep slope they were climbing.

Hakkai was now in front and laughed at the kappa who quickly started making every attempt to catch up to his green-eyed lover.

And catch him he did though Hakkai pushed him forward rather than slow their progress by falling into Gojyo's trying arms. The redhead made a hurt face and slumped a bit.

Smiling Hakkai grasped the kappa's hand tightly and kept walking westward.

"You know it's really hard to be mad at you when you're doing that," Gojyo sounded grumpy but the underlying tone of delight gave him away and Hakkai's smile grew just a bit.

They traveled hand in hand for a while the warm-fuzzies Gojyo felt were one of the many new sensations that were slowly being introduced to him. There were several different feelings he had not yet gotten used to; the jumping of his nerves when Hakkai stood near, the shuddering of his skin when they touched, and ache inside when the brunette decided to sensuously kiss him before walking away without finishing what he had begun.

'…_kiss…'_ Gojyo closed his eyes his thoughts settling on that single word and just what it meant…

----

They arrived in the next town just when the sun settled into its western cradle proclaiming the day finished with streaks of red and yellow thrown across the sky.

"One room... yes…. Thank you" Hakkai gave the desk clerk a kind smile and joined Gojyo at the foot of the stairs. "Shall we?" he motioned up the flight of steps before climbing them.

Gojyo followed close behind and was quick to bring Hakkai into his arms as soon as their room door closed behind them.

The green eyes met his red ones and they simply stared. Hakkai clasped the kappa's hand tightly within his own before leaving the warmth of the embrace and setting the small pack he was carrying in the corner of the room.

"I am going to get some food," it was stated as an invitation and Gojyo quickly accepted following happily behind the brunette.

Next door was a small bar which was said to have the best sake for quite some distance and as the inn keeper had told them they also had some of the best food.

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Sanzo and Goku reached the next village as the rain lightened and just as the innkeeper was about to leave for the night.

"Oh, well hmmm… we only have one room left so if you need a place to stay it will have to be there."

"Fine," Sanzo's new kind demeanor only extended to Goku. Taking up the keys they turned to leave and find their room.

"If you guys need baths," the old innkeeper stared as he scanned their tatter state, "you're going to have to go out back, we don't have indoor plumbing but there's a hot spring out there so…"

"F I N E," the monk did not speak loudly but his speech was harsh. Hands pushing Sanzo prompted Goku onwards away from the old man and prying questions he knew would come if they stayed any longer.

Three… four…. five…. six… their room was here, the seventh. A wooden door and brass handle led them into a sparsely furnished space with only one bed and a chair. It didn't matter much that they would have to sleep next to one another, Sanzo would have insisted upon it any way. He had made Goku stay by him every night since the incident and wasn't about to stop until the golden eyes recovered or until he was allowed to kill those who had made the youths expressions muted.

Sanzo said nothing as he threw the few clean dry items he had tucked away deep within his robes onto the chair. Goku did the same, emptying his pockets as mud slid from his feet and clothes onto the floor.

Sanzo turned and left, Goku followed soundlessly behind him, "you should talk more." Sanzo spoke words he never thought would pass his lips.

The comment made Goku laugh a bit and the monk's spirits lifted a little when the boy did so. It wasn't as though the small brunette had shut down completely rather it was as if his emotions had been brought to a simmer beneath the surface. This made Sanzo sad but mostly he was angry; angry at the people who had done it and angry at himself for not having stayed with Goku that evening.

The village was small and when the old man at the desk had said hot spring the monk had envisioned a hole in the ground where the water was only slightly cleaner than they were. But when they reached the backyard he thought that perhaps lady luck, or maybe Kanzeon, was looking out for them that night.

"Wow," it was the most Goku had said all evening and Sanzo was glad for even the one word.

Truly though the hot springs deserved at least a 'wow' the large expanse of steaming water in front of them was nothing to scoff at. Indeed it was nicer than the ones in some if the bigger cities at far more expensive establishments.

"Well then," Sanzo sighed, "how about that?" his words were quiet and yet they almost broke the tranquility of evening. He looked at Goku who was stripping down as ready to be clean as he had ever been. Following the youth's example Sanzo shed his clothes also keen to rid himself of the grime.

The air was cold and compelled both men towards the steaming pools. Splashing into the hot spring Goku felt the warmth of both the water and Sanzo's arms surround him. Before the action would have surprised and most likely scarred the boy but now it offered a feeling of security he readily welcomed. Falling back into a seated position against Sanzo's chest they both relaxed a little.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Please?


End file.
